I’m all free of charge endeavor, and I’m leery of constructing any longer executive businesses, however we would possibly want to enact some new law and empower some kind of heavily-armed frame to stay the motorcycle trade and the tech trade as a ways aside as imaginable, as a result of this will’t be excellent:
First we will have to in spite of everything move the FRICTION [Federal Restriction on Integrating Cycling and Technology In Our Nation] Act, then we will have to empower brokers from the Bureau of Wheels, Tires and Frames [WTF] to stay tech corporations clear of biking corporations in any way important. See, we will have to finish this predatory conduct sooner than they begin “integrating agentic AI into bikes:”
Sure, it’s at all times about making biking extra “accessible,” isn’t it? See, the true drawback with bicycles is they’ve at all times been too difficult:
Thankfully, issues are a lot more effective now:
It simply helps to keep getting higher and higher:
And with synthetic intelligence it’ll most effective get well nonetheless.
Glance, I comprehend it’s futile to rail towards AI. It’s the following section in our technological evolution, and it’s inevitable. Even I exploit it to generate photographs akin to this one:
Even though after all it by no means works. On this case, I advised it to make me a picture of “The Time-Traveling T-Shirt-Wearing Retro-Fred From The Planet Tridork Riding His Aero Bike Of Doom,” and it wasn’t even shut.
This, after all, is the Time-Touring T-Blouse-Dressed in Unfashionable-Fred From The Planet Tridork:
Even though he’ll additionally solution to “Bret.”
However simply because AI will ultimately determine tips on how to generate correct photographs and it will be penning this weblog in a question of months, that doesn’t imply I need it on my motorcycles, or that I desire a sensible handlebar:
Do you suppose it is available in quill?
I’m going to bet it doesn’t.
Both method, you most likely didn’t ask for “the world’s first fully connected smart handlebar.” For that subject you didn’t even ask for 31.8. However bet what? You’re getting it anyway, and it’s referred to as…FLITEDECK!?!
I’m sorry, WHAT?
In case you’re sufficiently old to bear in mind 9 pace (sounds loopy, however somebody born when Shimano presented 9-speed Dura-Ace is now nearly 30 years previous), that Flight Deck used to be Shimano’s built-in cycle pc:
[That appears to be a 10-speed version, but whatever.]
You managed it by the use of a bit nubbin at the lever hood, which allowed you to toggle thru thrilling options akin to “CLK” (that’s techn-jargon for “clock”), and naturally Campagnolo replied with its personal model, the “Ergo Brain,” which, uh, most definitely additionally had a clock:
After all, in the ones darkish days of male chauvinism, whilst we will have had computer systems, there used to be no position for information on our precise handlebars, as that area used to be reserved for photographs of scantily-clad girls:
However the ones days are over…or perhaps they’re now not:
Perhaps that is most effective the start:
I suppose it’s protected to suppose FLITEDECK could have a “Virtual Pin-Up” characteristic.
Now they may be able to get stop and desist letters from Shimano and Cinelli.
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